Checks, Balances, and Ballots

Just in time for reelection season, New York officials have discovered a deep, personal concern for your wallet. How touching. Inflation relief checks are going out—because nothing says “long-term economic strategy” like a one-time payment, tucked into this year’s budget, that might cover a week of groceries—if you skip the organic aisle.

Of course, inflation isn’t a breaking news event. Inflation is the new roommate you didn’t ask for—quietly raising the thermostat and drinking all your oat milk. Every day is inflation—at the pump, in the produce aisle, on your rent bill. But don’t worry, the state is here with a Band-Aid for your bullet wound... just in time to remind you who to thank at the polls.

And let’s talk about the real heartwarmer: full-time workers—some juggling Uber shifts or DoorDash runs on the side—still qualify for Medicaid and food stamps. That’s not a bug in the system; it is the system. In one of the richest states, in one of the richest countries on Earth, work hard, hustle harder, and congratulations: you’re still officially poor enough for government assistance.

It’s almost poetic—if by “poetic” you mean deeply broken and vaguely insulting. But chin up. State officials will have your back come October … for about 30 days, or until the polls close.